MOIST!!

        
            Why why why why why why does this word exist??????? It is a disgusting sexual word that people mainly use to describe food, OF ALL THINGS! Every time people use this word I feel violated.
"Did you eat a moist cookie?" VIOLATED
"This chicken is great, the thighs are so moist." VIOLATED
"The humidity made the sheets to moist" VIOLATED
            EWWWWWWWWW! There are better words that can be used such as:
clammy, dampish, dank, dewy, dripping, irriguous, muggy, not dry, soggy, or humid. ANY word is better then moist so STOP USING IT!

Eww

Down right repulsive

Why would you want your hair to be moist?

If my hand was covered in a germ that caused a flesh eating disease..I still wouldn't use this!

I hate Flo!

           

           Remember Mrs. Butterworth? She was the syrup bottle that talked to kids while they were eating breakfast. Remember the Dunkin Donuts commercial, with the little mustache man who yelled "time to make the doughnuts"? Remember the Budweiser frogs that croaked Budweiser? Remember the Taco Bell chihuahua (Yo Quiero Taco Bell)? As annoying as all of those commercials were at one time, I realize how much I miss them when Flo pops up on my television screen.

            Flo from progressive insurance commercials is an annoying character who's lines are horribly written and poorly delivered! She isn't charming, she doesn't have any catchy lines, and she doesn't talk to me while I'm eating a warm plate of pancakes. Can someone please explain why people like her? She looks like a scary porcelain doll, she plays an idiot, and she wears a fucking apron. What is the attraction?  More importantly, why the fuck is an insurance representative wearing an apron!?

Sarah Palin

Enough Said

Thanksgiving comes before Christmas!!!!!!!!!!

        

         STOP DECORATING YOUR HOUSE FOR CHRISTMAS BEFORE THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are people pushing Christmas with all the frigging decorations? Does everyone understand that the whole month of December is filled with reckless drivers, hectic stores, and spoiled rotten kids demanding shit from Santa? Why the hell are people rushing this holiday?  Where are the Pilgrim and Indian decorations? Where are the hand turkeys that the kids make in school? Are parents even teaching their kids about how the Pilgrims used the Indians for their knowledge, fed them a big dinner, and then killed all them all? This is important shit that these kids need to know!

         Honestly, I only like Thanksgiving because I get to stuff my face and not feel guilty, but Thanksgiving is the calm before the storm. So everyone should keep their tacky lawn ornaments in the garage, their Christmas trees in the attic, and their Christmas spirit up their ass. Just until the day AFTER Thanksgiving AT LEAST!

This is what Christmas involves!

Reebok EasyTone

       I don't know about everyone else, but I canceled my gym membership and bought a pair of easy tone sneakers! All I have to do is put on my magic shoes and I'm instantly 30 pounds thinner.

       People really will buy anything won't they? What hilarious to me is that studies have shown that these shoes are no different from any other shoe. They DO NOT make your ass, calves, hamstrings, or any other muscle firmer! You just pay more money for them, and walk around looking like an asshole because your trying not to fall over all day!

       Oh and by the way...there is now EasyTone clothing (dead serious)! The clothing contains elastic bands which will tone muscles in your back and torso. This is so exciting! Every woman just loves a nice comfy elastic band outfit, and rocking horse shoes!!!



Before EasyTone

15 minutes After EasyTone

SLOW CASHIERS......A letter to Larry



Larry.

           Dear Larry,

Thank you so much for making me stand in line for 15 minutes while you tried to

figure out the code for a free turkey. I really appreciate how inconsiderate you

were when you held up the line because you didn't want to ask your supervisor

 for help. I was so thrilled to watch you drool over your register keys, and I was

 ecstatic when you took your glasses off and cleaned them while you were thinking

 of the codes. When I clean my glasses it helps me remember things too.

    In my fit of joy over your excellent customer service,I forgot to tell you that

Pathmark offers a great vision plan and you should try getting a pair of glasses

that actually go behind your ears. It was so nice spending time with you. Have a great Thanksgiving.

Go to hell,

Michelle Ann



Window Famlies should be banished!

          As if Calvin pissing on the Eagles symbol wasn't enough, we now have these marvelous stick families to stare at while driving! Why do people do this? Why should I give a shit about Tammy playing baseball, and Timmy playing the guitar? Why do you feel the need to advertise how many people are in your family? Is it so I can keep score as I ram your fucking Volvo off of a cliff?
          There is no need to fuck up your back windows with this shit. Trust me, we all know you have kids based on the smashed french fries, and snot marks that are covering your windows. Take this shit down. NOBODY FUCKING CARES!



I need this!