People who walk around ALONE and smile

           

          Hey smiley, walking around Walmart ALONE with  a cart full of kitty litter and cat food; WIPE THAT STUPID SMILE OFF OF YOUR FUCKING FACE. What are you so fucking happy about? Did you find a new stray cat on your way to Walmart? Did you find a new detergent that will remove the scent of cat piss from all of your clothes? Please clue us all in on what is so fucking great!
           Last time I checked the economy was in the shitter, unemployment rates were at an all time high, and people were chasing after Sarah Palin's bus to get her autograph. Is that anything to smile about you jerkoff? NO! IT'S NOT! Here is a news flash for ya buddy, whatever it is that has you so chipper is going to end. So stop fucking smiling.
          I honestly want to go up to every one smiling for no apparent reason and ruin their day. I'm going to start making up the most sickening, horrible stories just to tell these people because I literally hate their guts.

VERIZON

           

               I HATE verizon. I hate verizon so much that I am not even going to capitalize the v on their name because they are pieces of shit who don't deserve a capital v. verizon is a dirty whore; a waste of time that gives you close to nothing, but demands payment for services rendered.
              I am convinced that verizon is affiliated with al qaeda! I bet Bin Laden planned it all out with  Ivan Seidenberg (CEO of Verizon).  Does anyone know where in the Middle East are these "outsourced employees" are located? What would be the perfect way for Al qaeda to discretely kill Americans with out anyone ever suspecting them? Team up with Verizon who has outsourced 95% of their employees, charge customers more money in bad economy, keep them on hold for 45 minutes, then speak to them in broken English to the point where they are so angry......they have a massive heart attack. BOOM! Who would expect terrorism? No one! Everyone at the funeral would shake their heads, and blame it on the anger problem the person developed when they had mulch thrown on them at the playground at the age of 6!
            Think about it! Join the fight against terrorism and cancel your Verizon service immediately!
          

Reindeer Costumes for cars

                 What the fuck posseses someone to put "antlers" and a big red fucking ball on the grill of their car? I hate this more then when people put a wreath on the grill of their car, complete with a set of blinking lights! We all know your not driving a reindeer, so you can take the bullshit down! No matter what you do, your never going to be able to disguise the fact that you are driving a Ford Focus you dick!

Truck Nutz

                

               As if your big, diesel, super cool, double duty truck isn't obnoxious enough, you then decide to hang saggy testicles from the truck. Good Job! Nothing screams class more then the most unattractive male organ shaking around on your hitch! Those balls look great with the "Bada Bing" stripper sticker on your back window! The contradiction must make women flock to you!
               Why in god's name would you put these on your vehicle? What message are you trying to send? That your truck is fast? I am fully aware that your super cool truck has a hemi and that it's faster than my four cylinder Honda.  Are you trying to make people aware that your truck belongs to a man? I'm pretty sure that awesome "drive it like you stole it" bumper sticker, and the fact that you tailgated an elderly woman for 3 miles gave everyone a pretty good idea of your gender!
           Do you want to know the message that all these "manly" truck decorations are sending out? They prove that you are an inconsiderate, chauvinistic pig. They solidify the fact that you have an extremely small penis because obviously your hemi couldn't make up for all the "man power" you are lacking. They also confirm that you are in fact a homosexual. Anyone who has to try this hard to prove how much of a "man" they are is obviously hiding something. You can come out of the closet it's 2010, it's accepted now!
              I'm going to start taking them off people's vehicles. When you go outside and your balls are gone..I TOOK THEM!!!!!! 


What every guy wants. Saggy balls!



I don't know whats worse, the balls or the Bush bumper sticker.

The Holiday Village

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news%2Flocal&id=7816254

Please watch the video clip from ABC in order to fully understand why I hate the holiday village.

             These politically correct assholes should all jump off a cliff. I hate all of them! Why does everyone have a such a problem with the word Christmas these days? In school it's no longer a Christmas party, its a holiday party, and the kids eat holiday cookies. In stores the cashier MUST say "Happy Holidays" not "Merry Christmas". Fuck that! Whats next? Does some other jerk off want to complain because Santa is at the mall? It wouldn't surprise me at all! Go ahead..take Santa away from the kids because your jealous that your religion doesn't have a cool old guy in a velvet suit!
              If people have such a problem with the word Christmas then don't shop at stores that advertise it! Better yet, go back to your "home land" so you and your religion can live happily ever after, far far away from the word Christmas! Why does everything have to be so political all the time? Why cant things just be fun? I thought that this was a free country! When Raahi pumps my gas once a week, I never tell him that his turban offends me. Despite the fact that it smells like gasoline, curry, and sweat I never say a word. I don't make a stink when I go to Cherry Hill and see stores that have Hanukkah bushes all lit up with blue lights. Do you want to know why I don't say anything? Because I don't fucking care! I have better things to do then sit around and make phone calls to City Hall about a bush, Raahi's turban, and a fucking $100.00 arch way in front of City Hall. FA LA LA LA LA!

MOIST!!

        
            Why why why why why why does this word exist??????? It is a disgusting sexual word that people mainly use to describe food, OF ALL THINGS! Every time people use this word I feel violated.
"Did you eat a moist cookie?" VIOLATED
"This chicken is great, the thighs are so moist." VIOLATED
"The humidity made the sheets to moist" VIOLATED
            EWWWWWWWWW! There are better words that can be used such as:
clammy, dampish, dank, dewy, dripping, irriguous, muggy, not dry, soggy, or humid. ANY word is better then moist so STOP USING IT!

Eww

Down right repulsive

Why would you want your hair to be moist?

If my hand was covered in a germ that caused a flesh eating disease..I still wouldn't use this!

I hate Flo!

           

           Remember Mrs. Butterworth? She was the syrup bottle that talked to kids while they were eating breakfast. Remember the Dunkin Donuts commercial, with the little mustache man who yelled "time to make the doughnuts"? Remember the Budweiser frogs that croaked Budweiser? Remember the Taco Bell chihuahua (Yo Quiero Taco Bell)? As annoying as all of those commercials were at one time, I realize how much I miss them when Flo pops up on my television screen.

            Flo from progressive insurance commercials is an annoying character who's lines are horribly written and poorly delivered! She isn't charming, she doesn't have any catchy lines, and she doesn't talk to me while I'm eating a warm plate of pancakes. Can someone please explain why people like her? She looks like a scary porcelain doll, she plays an idiot, and she wears a fucking apron. What is the attraction?  More importantly, why the fuck is an insurance representative wearing an apron!?